Oy, I had a crappy game last night. Crappy as in didn't quite live up to the loose, in-control feeling I had during the warmup, took a few things too personally, and totally lost my cool a couple times.

I didn't play *that* badly, and at another game I might have just thought, "bummer, didn't score" and moved on. In this game, though, I felt like I was not only not living up to my own expectations, but everyone else's, too. It's probably mostly (or even completely) my imagination, but it seemed like I could feel, and sometimes hear, the disappointment oozing from the bench. Result? Confidence = gone. I wasn't completely useless with the pall of disappointment hanging over me, which is a huge improvement over past seasons. But I was edgy and defensive and mad at myself for most of the night... and a bit depressed and annoyed at myself in the morning for being edgy and defensive and mad. Reminds me of morning-after-drinking-to-excess remorse, when you feel a little under the weather, a little depressed that all your buddies are gone, and a little mad that you did that to yourself.

I was hoping to find some joy in practice tonight (though, honestly, it *is* a little frustrating to see improvement in my shot, my skating, and my team play at practice, and yet still make STUPID moves and have no goals during games), but now I'm wondering if it wouldn't be better to stay home and sleep. I've managed to contract the Beaner's cold, and I'm exhausted. Then again, it might be less taxing to go to practice than to stay home and single-parent the Beaner. Hmmm.

Whether I go or not, I plan to write about some drills we've been doing at practice that have seemed helpful. I'm still occasionally a "drill killer", as Megan says, but I've gotten the hang of more drills than I would've thought possible when I started with the Freeze, and Billy's been coming up with a few to address specific issues he's noticed during games lately. Look for video of Billy explaining the drills (and of the drills themselves) coming soon.

Posted by Lori at 4:39 PM | Comments (3)