July 31, 2002
Pre-Marital Counseling

When Al first mentioned that the officiant we were considering required pre-marital counseling, I was a little nervous. I think I was scared that she might declare, "YOU TWO SHOULD NOT GET MARRIED" or something. Plus, I liked the way things were going, and I didn't want to have to discuss all kinds of BIG ISSUES all at once.

As it turns out, the counseling is going well. And really, the wedding planning itself is like pre-marital counseling: it forces you to talk about your style, your priorities, and your families. It teaches you to deal with crises together, to compromise, to consider the other person when you make decisions. And it really tests your patience and sense of humor.

In addition to the daily planning issues, the officiant gave us questionnaires to fill out separately; we're supposed to get together and talk about our answers when we're finished. I'm not sure if she planned this or not, but the act of thinking about the questions has precipitated several discussions. We spent several hours on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday talking about our childhood friends, our upbringing, when we might like to become parents, what kind of role models we'd like to be, what ambitions we have, etc. And this was on top of the various mini-conversations we've had about the specific counseling questions (e.g., "what will you miss about being single?").

For some of the questions, we've had to look to each other for answers; for example, I had to ask Al what he does that makes me angry, because I couldn't think of anything. "When I'm late," he replied. So right!

Posted by Lori at July 31, 2002 04:07 PM